So I have entered the first three chapters of the latest book I am writing.
Titled Hard To Love
It is of course the roughest draft but it is getting it down that is most important. Thought I would share it here with you.
Synopsis
Lauren Miller is a young woman having the time of her life
in L.A with her boyfriend Matt when things go tragically wrong. They get into fight and then a horrible car crash and Matt dies
before they make it to the hospital.
Lauren lives with survivor’s guilt for months only to realize that she can’t
handle living in their apartment anymore. It brought back to many painful memories so
she moves back home to Portland, where her mother lives. When she returns, she finds herself easily
returning to old habits. She starts hanging around her childhood friend Cassie
and the ‘rich crowd’. She takes the job
offered to her by her old boss at the restaurant, whom her mother called the
instant she learned Lauren was moving home. What she didn’t bank on was falling
for one of the town’s most eligible bachelor, also arrogant rich kid Mason
Foster, who only cares about what new car he is driving and whether or not his
shoes are from Testoni.
Lauren then begins to think she is losing her mind when the
ghost of her dead boyfriend appears randomly to her as she just starts to let
go of the pain.
Lauren tries to hide her feelings for Mason, who is openly
sweet to her, only when no one is around, yet she finds it hard to resist
him. Some dramatic events unfold and
Mason is put in a position to admit his feelings, but instead he skips town.
Lauren finds herself confused and broken over a guy who secretly cared for
her. His older brother Nick is happy
reap the benefits of his absence. Thing is he doesn’t need to put on the charm
to steal her heart. She sees a side to
Nick no one else has ever seen.
When Mason returns to Portland unexpected, the drama begins.
Who will Lauren chose? Will Nick just
give up? Will Mason finally admit his deep feelings for Lauren? Will Matt her dead boyfriend stop appearing in
her times of despair?
CHAPTER
ONE
The rushing water spilled over the rocky cliff above,
crashing over and over at the bottom of the river bed. Mist clouded the air covering the trees,
slowly turning to frost, leaving signs that winter is near. It’s loud soothing roar silenced the calm
dense forest that surrounded me. Drowning all the thoughts cluttering my mind,
filling me with tranquility, like the sound of a heart beating. I open my eyes
for the first time since I had arrived and thought, I’m home. The giant trunk
beneath me was covered in moss giving a cushion like feel against my back. Bits of clouds can be seen through the canopy
above but the rain had yet to begin.
I feel nothing, other than the mist of the river
below, enveloping me. Tears begin to trickle down the sides of my face, landing
in my hair. I feel empty inside.
“Time to go, darling.” A voice broke the silence that
filled my head. I sat up frightened, looking around only to find that no one
was there. I could have sworn that I heard his voice.
“Matt?” I whispered, wishing so much that he was
here. He was the only one who could make
me smile, make me whole again.
What was I thinking of course he wasn’t here, he was
dead. He was dead and it was my fault.
Tears flooded my eyes again as I thought about that horrible night.
The night that changed my life forever.
“You have got to stop blaming yourself.” The voice replied.
“Matt?” My head
spun around and this time, I saw him. He
was sitting a few feet away from me, looking handsome as ever.
I don’t know how it was possible but it was. “What—I don’t understand, how are you here?”
“This is not how I wanted you to live out the rest of
your life, Lauren.” He appeared suddenly closer.
“I don’t know what else to do,” I started to cry. “Nothing is the same anymore.”
“Of course it’s not, sweetheart. You need to start over. Make a new life, new
memories.” His head tilted slightly.
“But I miss you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut my body shaking as I sobbed. I knew in my heart that he wasn’t actually there,
I was hallucinating or hyperthermia was setting in.
I deserved nothing less.
Then he spoke again, “I know.” He stood tall, a shadow
casting down on me. Then he jumped off the log and landed perfectly safe on the
forest floor below. “I will not be able to move on to the other side, if you
don’t stop thinking about me.”
“A-am I going crazy?” I scoffed.
“No.” he said with a smile. His eyes sparkle in the
scattered light.
“Then how is it that we are talking right now?” my
lips trembled.
“I never
thought it possible but when you heard me, I realized it was.” He smiled.
“I’m sorry, Matt.” I sobbed into my hands.
“I know, darling.” He held out his hand for me to take
it.
“It should have been me. It was my fault.” I shook my
head, burying my face in hands. Memories
of the crash filled my mind.
“Stop talking like that. You lived because there is a plan for you.”
He said moving closer to the log. The
drop was far, reminding me that he was not really here with me.
“What sort of plan would involve you dying and leaving
me heartbroken without you?” I cried
looking away.
“Only you will know that.” He waited.
“You are a good person, Matt. You didn’t deserve to
die.” I stood. “I—I—” My voice trailed.
Matt’s head slowly turned away then he disappeared.
“You can’t be here.” Another voice said.
My head shot up and I saw a man dressed all in black; black
pants, black shirt black boots and a black leather jacket.
He stood with one foot on a large rock and his arms
folded, staring up at me.
I focused on him.
“Why are you here?” I retorted wiping the tears from
my cheek.
“My family owns this land, so I am allowed to be lost
in it.” He replied pulling out a silver flask.
He studied me for a long moment. “You on
the other hand are trespassing.” He added.
“I used to come here all the time when I was a
kid. I don’t remember it being own by
anyone.” I replied climbing my way down
off the log.
“Well, I guess you were wrong.” He screwed the lid off
took a long haul then re-screwed the lid. “You should go.”
“Who owns the forest?” I said walking towards him,
brushing my hands off.
“My parents.”
“Who are your parents?” I asked, annoyed.
“The Fosters.” He sighed then stuff the flask in the
inside pocket of his jacket.
“I didn’t know the Fosters had a son.” I said, my brow furrowed.
“There is a lot people don’t know about the Fosters.”
He said with a roll of his eye. “See ya.” He started walking away.
I waited for him to disappear through the dense forest
before calling out to Matt, disappointed when he didn’t return.
When I came to the old gravel parking lot outside the
forest, I saw a car that was not their earlier. I scanned the area, seeing no
one else around. But, as I got closer to
my car I noticed someone lying against the side of the other car. I rushed over
kneeling in front of him.
“Hey.” I recognized him from earlier when he asked me
to leave the forest. “Are you
okay?” I asked slapping his cheek.
“Owe, why are you touching me.” He shuffled away
hitting his head against the door of the car.
“Sorry. I thought that you were hurt or worse dead,
but it turned our you’re just drunk.” I huffed shook my head and sat back on my
legs.
“What was your first clue, that I was still
breathing.” He snapped and rubbed his
cheek.
“For now.” I snarled and stood up, folding my arms.
“Sorry to bother you.” I turned and made
my way over to my car, glancing back at him before opening the door.
He was trying to get to his feet, unsuccessfully.
I sucked in a deep breath, went against my better
judgment and helped him. “Do you need a ride?” I asked holding my hand out
offering my help.
“From the girl talking to herself in the forest, I
think I’ll pass.” The driver side window was down so he used the frame of the
door to haul himself up.
“I wasn’t talking to myself.” I muttered under my
breath.
“Then who were you talking to?” He replied. I didn’t
expect him to hear me.
“Do you want a ride or not? I couldn’t care less either
way.” I didn’t mean it but I said it anyway. I often don’t think before I
speak. His glassy blue eyes stared me
down. Instantly my
eyes found the ground to avoid his stare.
“That’s not very nice.” He replied stumbling forward. When I looked up again, attempting to give him
one of my annoyed glances, his smirk made my heart jumped a little in my
chest.
“Last chance offer.” I said unlocking the doors.
“Fine, I can’t find my keys anyway.” He smirked, planted
his hand on the roof of my car and bent over slightly trying to open the car
door. I scoffed then walked around the
back of the car.
“How much alcohol can you fit in that flask?” I
mumbled as I pushed him out of the way to open the door for him.
“Not enough.” He stumbled forward, his face hovered so
close to mine that I could almost taste the alcohol on his breath.
“Get in.” I stepped back grabbing his arm and pulling
him with me.
“No need to be pushy.” He said pulling away. I walked backwards as he attempted to get in
the front seat. I shook my head and twirled the keys around my finger then
walked back over to the driver side.
“Where do you live?” I asked starting the engine. I
stretched my arm over the back of my seat to see out the window as I backed up.
“Over on Skyline Road.” He rubbed his eyes with his
thumb and index finger. My mouth gapped.
Anybody who was somebody lived off of Skyline Road. My best friends from did as well.
“Are you new to the area?” I asked, not remembering
him from my childhood.
“Nope, lived here my all my life.” He replied resting
his head back on the seat. “I’m pretty sure we established that already.”
“I just don’t remember you.” My cheeks burned.
“I guess I didn’t make much of an impression then.” He
scoffed and turned to look out the window. I watched him as he fumbled with the button
that locked and unlocked the doors.
“Are you wanting the window open?” I tried to hide my
smile as I reached across his lap to get the window down. He chuckled then hung his arm out the window.
“We moving yet?”
He asked slowly turning to look at me again. I rolled my eyes
restraining my tongue from lashing out at him.
He was rude but there was no reason for me to be.
“Why are you like this?” I asked, again not thinking
first.
“Why are you driving a stranger home?” His head shot
towards me and the glare was hard.
“Better than the alternative.” I shrugged.
“Which is?” He shifted in his seat so his body was
turned towards me.
“You driving home drunk, ending up dead or killing
someone else, that which would haunt you for the rest of your life.” I said all
in one breath.
“You sound like you have experience in that department.”
He turned away. I turned up the radio not wanting to talk anymore. He tapped his thumb against his knee as I
drove.
I turned down Mills road hanging a right leaving only
a few blocks before reaching his street. When I turned down Skyline Road he
reached over and turned the radio down.
“You can drop me off here.” He said talking off his
seatbelt.
“I can drop you off at your house.” I replied.
“I don’t know you and I don’t want to find out that
your stalking me.” He stated. I gasped in disbelief at his remark. I slammed on
the brakes causing him to bump his head on the inside roof of the car. I shook my head biting my tongue.
“You’re welcome.” I put the car in park and unlocked
the doors. He rubbed his head turned and
glared at me again before opening the door to get out, without even saying
thank you.
After he passed the front of the car I put the car in
drive and squealed past him and turned around. I was so furious that I wouldn’t
have felt bad if I hit him. I flipped
him the bird before disappearing down the street and honestly didn’t care if
anyone saw me, least of all him.
When I got home an hour later I pulled the car into
the garage and shut it off. I didn’t get
out right away. Images of seeing Matt in
the forest came back and I wanted it to last a bit longer. Then the light in the garage turned on
breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Lauren?” My mother stood at the doorway that led into
the house.
“Yeah mom it’s just me.” I sighed and got out of the
car. My mother pushed the button on the
wall to shut the garage door.
“Why were you sitting in the car?” She asked hugging me.
“I just got in, I was just thinking that’s all.”
“About Matt?” She rubbed my back. I held my breath
unable to speak so I just nodded my head.
She hugged me again then kissed my forehead. “It will all right dear.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile.
“I know mom.” I gave her a thinned lipped smile.
Since the accident, all she kept saying was how
everything would be all right. It had
been a year, I didn’t feel all right. I
slipped off my boots by the front door then made my way to my room.
“Oh by the way I spoke to Mrs. Peterson and she said
any time you are ready you can have your old job back at the restaurant.” Her
smile was bigger this time.
“Oh,” I sucked in a breath and tried to smile.
“Uh—thanks.”
Falling back into my old life was not something I was
interested in. I didn’t want to move
back home but with Matt gone I couldn’t afford anything on my part time salary
working at the diner in Los Angeles. My
freelance photography pretty much went nowhere.
I Figuring with Matt’s salary I didn’t need it worry about making a lot
of money. We had plans to get married
and buy our own house in Hollywood. Matt always told me to strive towards my
dreams. Being happy at what you do for a
living was what he believed in and he did that every day.
He was an editor for a big production company in
Hollywood. He and his team of editors
had been nominated twice for an award since he took the job.
Things were moving forward just as he always
dreamed.
Moving back to Portland was a big adjustment. It was nice to be around my mother again, she
had been pretty alone since dad died three years ago.
“She is expecting you to stop by this week.” She said with a nod before walking away.
“Okay.” I breathed then turned and walked up the
stairs.
I shut my bedroom door and flopped down on my bed
burying my face in my pillows. I just wanted to lie here and not move for a
week or two. Having done nothing the
past year but wander around like a different person in my skin. Life was so
empty without him. The silence and pity party didn’t last long, my cell phone
started ringing a familiar ring tone from my purse. Forcing myself out of bed to grab my phone..
“Hello Cassie.” I couldn’t help but smile. I had
promised her I would call when I got in town.
“Hey Girl.” She said smiling. “You were supposed to
call when you got here.”
“I know.” I sighed. “I got a little sidetracked.”
“That’s okay, tomorrow you are all mine and no
complaints on the arrangements.” She
stated.
“Promise.” I laid back on the bed. “I can’t wait to
see you.” Cassie had a way of helping to forget my problems. We hadn’t seen each other since Matt died.
But we talked on the phone frequently. I
knew all about her world travels and exotic flings.
“Good. See you around ten.” She said before hanging
up. I glanced at the clock on the
bedside table. It was still early enough to make it to the restaurant tonight
before Mrs. Peterson closed for the night.
I knew I would have no time tomorrow once Cassie picked me up for the
day.
When I pulled up to the restaurant it was half past
nine. The parking lot was practically
empty. I took the first spot by the door
and made my way in. The only waitress on
the floor greeted me.
“Hey there darlin’ what can I do for you?” She asked.
“Actually, I was hoping to speak with Mrs. Peterson,
is she still around?”
“She sure is, who should I say is callin’,” She asked.
“It’s Lauren Miller.” I replied. She nodded then
turned away. I took a seat at the bar and waited. The bartender smiled and
offered me a drink. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Lauren, I heard you were back in town!” Mrs. Peterson
squealed as she came around the corner from the kitchen area. I stood and walked towards her open
arms. “It is so fantastic to see you,
you look terrific.” She hugged me tight.
Mrs. Peterson and my mother had been friends for years. So she was up to date with the events of my
life. “So sorry to hear about Matthew. It’s such a tragedy he was such a sweet
boy.” Her lips screwed. It funny how everyone remembered Matt when he
lived here but I never met him until college. Well at a college party, that
is. He was two years older than me so
that was more than likely the reason I never met him before then. I smiled
remembering the first time I laid eyes on him.
“Your mother mentioned you moved back home.”
“Yes, temporarily.” I said mumbling I hope under my
breath.
“Well don’t you worry your pretty little head you can
work here again until you get back on your feet.” She hugged me again.
Mrs. Peterson was a childless, widow who had a lot of
love to give. My mother, told me back
when I started working at the restaurant the first time, not to ask if she had
any children because it was a sore subject.
Mrs. Peterson had always wanted children but was baron, according to the
doctors. Her husband never wanted to
adopt and didn’t believe in paying someone to carry their child for them
either. He was a God fearing man and believed whole heartedly that if it was
meant to be it would be. I can’t say
that I believe that theory myself, but to each his own.
“Thank you so much Mrs. Peterson.”
“No problem dear.” She smiled widely. “So how’s Monday
work for you?”
“Sounds perfect.” I nodded. That gave me four days to
get my stuff together and unpack my clothes.
It was time to start acting like this was my home again. “Thanks again,
see you Monday. Have a good night.”
“You too dear. Tell your mom I said, hello.”
“I will.” I waved as I walked out the door.
My mother was already in bed by the time I got back to
the house. As quietly as I could I made
my way up to my bedroom. Unable to sleep I unpacked my clothes putting them away.
Finding my IPod among the mess, slipped the headphones on as I crawled into
bed. Sleep was hard to come by lately and
noise seemed to drown out my thoughts.
The nightmares had faded months ago, but occasionally they flashed back
and were as vivid as the day it happened.
I closed my eyes resting my hand on my chest, IPod in hand. At first, as I drifted the first thought was
of the forest, the sound of rushing water filling my head. Then his spoke to me over took the sound of
the music playing loudly against my ear drums. I sat up looking around the
room. My heart thudding hard against my rib cage. The tears effortlessly falling from my
eyes. Stretching across my bed I opened
the bedside table drawer and took out a bottle of prescription, sleeping
pills. It had been months since I had
needed them but today after seeing what I saw and hearing—I had to remind
myself it wasn’t real. The pills would
take it away. Pouring out letting two
dropped in the palm of my hand and a bottle of water to wash them down with. I
closed my eyes, saying in my head, ‘not real’ over and over. I laid back down
against the pillows turning up the music.
CHAPTER
TWO
The next morning Cassie woke me up out of a dead sleep.
I had forgotten how well the pills worked. It was just after ten when I focused on the
clock by my bed. I rubbed my face apologizing. “I didn’t realize how late it
was.”
“I can’t believe you slept in this long.” She flopped down on the bed
next to me. “Whatever happened to the girl who was up at the crack of dawn no
matter how late we were out drinking.”
“Age caught up to me.” I joked.
“Nah that’s not it.” She turned on to her back. “Get dressed we’ll go
get breakfast at the club then go shopping.”
“Shopping?”
“Yes we need dresses for the masquerade my parents are throwing for
Halloween.” She clapped her hands excitedly. “Remember those back in high
school.”
“Yes.” I smiled.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “It just seems like nothing has changed here
except for me.”
“Well L.A will do that to you.” She screwed her lips.
“I don’t have money to spend on a dress for the masquerade.” I said
dragging myself out of the bed.
“Don’t worry about it.” She
hopped off the bed.
“Cassie—”
“Ah don’t you dare say it. We are
shopping and you’re going to stick your pride where the sun don’t shine,
because you are my best friend and I have not seen you in a year.” She scooped me up in her arms spinning me
around to face the mirror on my wall, her cheek against mine. “We are going to
show these old folks what it means to party and you are going to like it!” She walked me to the bathroom. “Hurry up.”
Locking the door behind me, I turned and stared at myself in the mirror.
The puffiness under my eyes was proof to my tear filled night. I fought with
the tangles in my hair giving up and tying it up in a ponytail. Scrubbing my
face with cleanser and patting it dry I swiped a toner on my face adding a bit
of cream dabbing under my eye wanting the bags to go away. “Nothing a little foundation couldn’t hide.”
I whispered.
When I walked back into my room, Cassie had raided my closet picking out
clothes for me. A pair of dark skinny jeans, cream coloured circular hem
sweater, black and beige flats. “So glad
you have such classy taste.” Cassie
giggled sitting cross legged on the bed.
“Thanks.” I shrugged. I changed
into the outfit grabbing my bag before heading down stairs.
“Morning girls.” My mother stopped us as we got to the main floor. “I
have coffee and scones on if you’d like.”
“Thanks mom but we are going to the club for breakfast.”
“Okay girls, have a good day.” She smiled hugging herself. I turned and walked towards her kissing her
cheek before leaving. That put a smile on her face. Mom use to be such a social butterfly when I
was kid but ever since dad died she didn’t want the members at the club to
treat her different just because she was a widow.
“Everyone is going to die when they see you.” Cassie said and turned off the alarm on her car.
“I doubt that.” I scoffed.
“Are you kidding me, you were all everyone talked about since the last
time you came to visit.” She said
crossing her arms. “Just because you
don’t live on Skyline Road doesn’t mean you are not noticed.” She rolled her
eyes at me. “You should meet my cousin Mason you’ll love him, most girls do. He should be there this morning.”
“Cassie—”
“Shush and get in.” She shut her door and started the car.
Hesitantly I climbed in the front seat. It had been a year since Matt
died but I was not ready to start seeing anyone else. Especially not some rich kid who probably has
never known what it feel like to lose something or someone. We pulled up to the front of the country
club, the valet walked around the front of the car nodding at Cassie as she got
out, he handed her a tag then got in the car.
Cassie linked her arm with mine and we made our way in through the front
doors. It was as busy as I remembered. Incoherent chatter filled the halls and
dining rooms until I entered then it felt as though everyone stopped talking to
stare up at me.
Cassie ignored everyone and walked through with her head up and my arm
in hers. She reached a table where her mother and father were seated.
“Cassie.” Her mother spotted us first.
Cassie let go and walked around to hug and kiss her mother then her
father.
“Mom, dad you remember Lauren Miller.” She introduced me and it felt as
uncomfortable as it did the first time I met them fifteen years ago.
“Yes of course, how are you dear?”
Her mother asked leaning over to shake my hand.
“Very well, thank you for asking.”
“How was L.A, Lauren?” Cassie’s father asked, making light conversation.
“An experience.” I said with a smile. There were three other people
sitting at the table. I recognize the woman but couldn’t place who she was.
“This is Abigail Foster,” Abigail smiled and nodded, “her husband
Spencer, and that is Mason.” Cassie’s
mother introduced. I smiled nodding at
who was paying attention to me.
“Mason!” Abigail tapped him on the shoulder. “My son the social
butterfly.” She scowled at him. “If only
he was as good at finding a job as he is at being social.” He had been leaning
over the back of his chair speaking with a girl at the other table.
“What?” He frowned turning towards me that’s when I gasped and
practically jumped out of my seat.
“We have company.”
“We always have company, its nothing new.” He scowled wagging his brow.
“Manors Mason.” She tapped his leg.
He rolled his eyes.
“Hi.” He barely looked at me when he greeted.
“Hi.” I stuttered. Everyone was looking at me funny.
“Have you met before?” Cassie asked looking over at me. Mason glanced my way and stared for a moment
trying to place me.
“Sort of.” I said biting my bottom lip.
“Do tell.” Cassie leaned in.
“Oh right the girl who talks to herself.” He pointed at me then snapped
his fingers as he remembered. My mouth dropped, that was how he remembered me.
I crossed my arms and scowled at him.
“I was not talking to myself.”
“Well, I saw no one else around.” He joked.
“I’m surprised you remembered anything considering the amount of alcohol
in your system.” I snapped back.
“Lauren!” Cassie cupped her hand over her mouth. Mason smirked then leaned back in his chair,
his eyes locked on mine.
“Funny, you would know considering you practically kissed me.” The grin
on his face widening. He was a real
piece of work. My eyes watered and I could feel the sting on my cheek as they
turned red.
“Will you excuse me, I suddenly don’t feel hungry.” I threw the napkin from my lap on to the
plate. “It was nice seeing you again Mr. and Mrs. Harper. Nice meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Foster.” I
turned and walked away.
“That was real nice Mason.” Cassie got up from the table.
“What has gotten into you, Mason?”
his mother scolded. He ignored
her by turning around, continuing his conversation.
“My son has been rather unruly lately,”
Abigail apologized as she took a sip of her tea.
“Lauren wait.” Cassie called out as she got closer. “What was that about?” She grabbed my arm.
“Nothing.” I pulled free. I didn’t fit in back then I won’t fit in now.
“That was not nothing. Did you really try to kiss him?”
“NO!” I blurted. “He was drunk Cassie, so drunk he could barely walk. I
offered him a ride home even though he had been such a jerk beforehand. I can’t believe you are related to him.” I said shaking my head.
“Yeah well you can’t pick your family.” She chuckled.
“Well at least you can’t tell you are related, at least you have that
going for you.” I laughed.
“What gives me away? The colour of my skin?” She smiled. “He is rather pale in comparison.” Her smile
was picture perfect. Cassie was one of
the most beautiful girls I had known.
Her dark skin and green eyes were head turners. Cassie’s mother was born
in south Africa but her family had moved to America when she was just a
girl. Raised in a strict family with
good morals and amazing education. She
grew up an amazing woman, people respected her and it showed. “I like Spencer a lot better than I do my
uncle Robert.” She replied. “Mason is
just like his father.”
“His father I remember. My dad
use to golf with him.”
“Yeah, I am surprised you never met him before.”
“I honestly didn’t know they had any children. I don’t remember anyone
ever talking about him.”
“He has always been a bit of a trouble maker.” Cassie replied. The valet returned with her car.
“Where do you want to eat?” She asked climbing in the driver seat.
“We can go to Parkrose waterfront, where I will be working again.” I
shrugged.
“Mrs. Peterson gave you your old job back?”
“Well I think my mom talked her into it.”
“Oh she loved you like you were family.” Cassie smiled then started
driving.
We were greeted by the host right away, she seated us by the front
window.
“Your waitress will be right with you.” She smiled handed us our menus
then walked away.
“So what is the plan for the rest of the weekend?” I asked reading the
menu. “I don’t have to start work until Monday, so you have me for the next
four days.” I said looking over the top of the menu.
“Four days, hmmm I’m sure we can get into a lot of trouble by Monday.”
She laughed. I nodded with a smile,
distraction was exactly what I needed right now.
After breakfast we drove to the boutique where Cassie buys all her party
dresses. The masquerade dance was for charity for the local children’s
hospital. Every year at Halloween the Harper family organized and planned the
charity ball. When I was a kid my parents used to attend the masquerade every
year. I knew my mom would donate again
as she always did but whether she could attend is unknown.
“So any ideas on what you would like to wear?” Cassie asked.
“No.” I shrugged. It had been
three years since I had been to one. I had gotten used to casual wear and
occasional gown when I went with Matt to his events.
“Well my family are all wearing a shade of blue. So blue is not going to do, how about red.”
She spun around with a beautiful strapless gown. The bustier top had a lacy diamond crusted
design over the dark red satin. The
skirt of the dress billowed out slightly a wave like ruffle pinned by a faux
diamond button on every layer.
“This is gorgeous Cassie.” I gasped holding it in my hands, quickly
peeking at the price tag. “It’s too much.” I handed it back.
“Shush up, if you like it its yours.” She handed the dress to the sales
woman helping us. “We will need some
accessories to match. She said. The
sales woman nodded and gestured for us to follow. Cassie picked out a pair of red and white
jeweled dangle earrings, a short layered beaded necklace, black and red bangles
and a wraparound beaded bracelet to match the necklace and a little black
diamond studded clutch purse.
“The shoes and the mask we’ll have to go to other stores for.” Cassie
placed everything on the counter.
“What about you?”
“Oh, I have had my dress for over a month.” She smirked.
I nudged her with my shoulder smiling, feeling the sting on my
cheeks. I hated feeling out of place in
her world. My parents weren’t poor, we
were middle to high class but since dad died mom had faded away from all the
glamour and parties. New people were in
town and most didn’t know the name Miller. I never wanted my parents help when
I left for L.A. I wanted to prove to them I could dot I on my own, even though
I never did. It if weren’t for matt I would have moved home after six months of
living there. Just the thought of him
brought tears to my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Cassie said as she turned and noticed my glossy eyes.
“I’m okay.” I smiled and wiped the tear that managed to escape.
“You sure, we can forget shopping and go straight to drinking?” She
smirked.
“I’m fine.” I laughed. The sales
woman eyed us.
“Good because since we have the dress with us it will be easier to find
shoes and a mask.” She grabbed the dress
by the hanger flattening out the plastic wrap protecting it. She handed me the bag with the accessories
inside. She hung the dress in the back
seat and I put the bag on the back seat.
Cassie drove up the block to a coffee shop where we sat inside for a
bit.
“You want to talk about it?” She asked taking a seat.
“I said I was fine.”
“No, you’re not and stop lying to me. I’m your best friend remember I
know when your smiles are real.” She reached out to cup my hand in hers.
“I just miss him that’s all.” I sighed.
“I know, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to be so miserable all this
time.” She sipped her coffee.
“He doesn’t.” I said with a sigh.
“I know he would want me to move and I think the first step was moving
back here.” Fiddling around with the paper cup in my hand avoiding looking at
her.
“Good, because tonight there are going to be a ton of guys at the club
and I am so pushing you towards all of them.” The grin on her face widened.
It was after twelve and we had stopped by three shoe stores before we
found the perfect set of black and red
velvet skyscraper heels. I instantly
fell in love. Lunch came next and this time we ate at the harbour front diner.
They made the best fish and chips in the state. It was after two by the time we
were back to shopping. There was only one store in town that carried the masks we
were looking for. Cassie spoke to the
owner as I browsed around for something that caught my eye. Just as Cassie
called out to me I found it. The perfect mask.
It look like a crown with narrow diamond crusted around the eyes, a hint
of black mixed in with the red and sheer material to tie it around my head.
“I found it.” I spun around holding it.
Cassie nodded approvingly. Her
smile made me smile.
“Well we have at least eight hours to kill.” Cassie sighed as she sat in
the driver seat. “I thought it would be
harder to shop with you, usually you are more stubborn.” She giggled as she
turned to look at me.
“I am trying harder to be more pleasant to be around.” I laughed. “We can just hang around for a bit or sleep.”
“Sleep, what are you an old lady?”
She playfully slapped my leg. “The fall colours are really starting to
kick in at the Portland gardens.”
“Oh I could take photographs.” I gasped excitedly. “Can we stop at my
house for a minute?”
“Absolutely. I don’t think I have seen your face light up like that in a
long time.”
“I haven’t taken any photographs since Matt died.” I looked out the
window as I finished that sentence.
“Then the garden it is.” She said grabbing my hand in hers and giving it
a squeeze. “How do you feel about lobster for dinner?”
“Sounds terrific.” I smiled.
It was starting to feel better as time passed, being home again. I never realized how much I missed Cassie
until today. “I really missed you
Cassie.” I leaned over and hugged her.
“I missed you too, I am more than thrilled to have you back.” She
stretched her arm around me. “Oh you
will get to meet Charlie tonight.”
“Who’s Charlie?” I asked, my eyes squinting slightly. Cassie dated frequently. She never dated anyone longer than two
weeks. Like most of the people who lived
on Skyline road.
“He’s my boyfriend.” She said
joyfully. “You are gonna love him.”
“How long have you been dating him?”
“About a month.” She pulled out of the parking spot and started driving
down the street. “He is gorgeous,
nothing like anyone I have ever dated before.”
“A month, huh.” She noticed my surprised expression.
“What? You think you’re the only one that can find true love.” She snapped.
“No, you always told me your motto was to never get attached. Heartbreak was too painful.” I quoted.
“Well I still believe that but Charlie—he is so devoted to me I couldn’t
imagine him leaving.” It was nice to see
Cassie this excited about a guy. It was
better than bouncing around from one guy to the next, which is what she was
known for, prior to now.
“I’m happy for you, I am sure I will love him.” I said and looked over
to smile at her.
CHAPTER
THREE
When we arrived at the
garden I couldn’t keep from snapping pictures right away. The bright reds and oranges
were incredible against the deep green foliage that were late in changing. An hour was spent just walking through the
trail through the forest to a botanical garden with ponds and amazing
sculptures made from bushes. It felt as
though we had entered wonderland I have expected to run into the mad hatter,
with my luck that would be who I would meet. Cassie pointed out the giant
mermaid sculpture the flowers left blooming were red and orange mums framing
her face. It was an amazing sight.
“They call it mosaiculture,
it has spread all over the world. It’s
quite remarkable.” Cassie pointed out.
“To say the least.” I was
in awe of the beauty that engulfed us.
“There is a really
beautiful waterfall, it may be a little cold to be near the mist but it would
be great for pictures.”
“Speaking of waterfalls,” I
began as I followed her over the bridge through thick green and red foliage. “Do the Foster’s really own the land where we
use to picnic.”
“Yes.” Cassie rolled her
eyes. “The park closed down when there was a drowning accident and the Fosters
were sued again.”
“There was a drowning,”
“Yeah, after you it seemed
to happen a lot. More than I ever remembered.”
“I drowned?”
“Yeah don’t you
remember?” Cassie stopped walking to
look at me. I shook my head staring out
at the water. “It was horrific.” She replied. “That year I think the dam had
been damaged due to the hard winter we got and the tide was a lot higher than
usual and when you went into the river you slipped went down the rapids into
the big pond you hit your head pretty bad.”
I rubbed the scar on the
side of my head. Flashes of that day
came back to me. “A boy saved me.” I
looked up at her.
“Yeah, he was given a medal
from the mayor for his bravery.” She
nodded. “I can’t remember his name, I think it was—”
“Matthew.” I smiled.
Cassie’s head jerked in my direction.
“No… could it have been?”
“Only one way to find out.”
I shrugged and screwed my lips.
“We’ll go there right after
we are done here.” Cassie said.
The old newspaper archives
at the city hall library would give me the answers I needed.
The librarian led us to the
isle we needed, and Cassie started with the tribune first while I searched the
Portland star. She found it first.
“Here it is.” She said
tapping me on the shoulder. I moved over to her table leaning closer to the
screen. The picture was in black and white but those eyes were unmistakable.
“It was him.” I gasped
covering my gaping mouth. The picture included his parents as well as the
mayor.
“I don’t believe it.” Tears
filled my eyes. “I don’t know if this makes me feel any better or worse.” I
covered my face with my hands.
“Why would it make you feel
worse? It was fate that brought you two
together.” She said taking me in her arms.
“It was my fault he died,
Cassie.” I sobbed like a baby on her shoulder.
“Don’t be silly.”
“It was.” I sniffed back
the tears. “We were fighting the day of the accident. I had accused him of
cheating and showed up at his work late one night. I couldn’t have been more wrong and he was
furious with me. He drove through the
red light and a transport truck t-boned us.”
“I’m sorry Lauren.” Her
eyes widened, she just stared speechless. “What made you think he was
cheating?”
“My friend, Billie.” I
shook my head regretfully. “She said he
had been working awfully late recently.
She got me worried for nothing. But I couldn’t help but wonder, he
didn’t call to cancel plans with me. Forgetting we had a date or a dinner with
friends. He also bailed on me when we were supposed to go home for thanksgiving
dinner with my mom. I hadn’t seen her since dad died and I was upset when he
forgot.” I sat back in the chair resting
my head in my hand. “So I decided I
would show up at his work and catch him with whoever he was with and boy was I
embarrassed when I walked in on his meeting with the producers and his editing
team.”
“What I didn’t realize was
that while they had their meeting they had also celebrated with a bottle of
champagne and when we crashed they said he had alcohol in his system. They tried to blame it on him.” The tears were effortlessly falling now.
“It’s not your fault.” She hugged me.
“If I had not shown up he
would have taken a cab home.” I cried.
Cassie just held me as I cried. I wouldn’t have known what to say to
that either. For the past year I had blamed myself for his death. If he hadn’t
been driving that night, then he would have still been alive.
“I understand why you blame
yourself but honey, it is not your fault and if Matt was here right now he
would tell you that.” I tried to smile
and stop crying but it didn’t happen.
“Enough of this sad song, we need to get you in a better mood.” She said
and kissed my cheek. We put what we had taken out away and turned off the
microfilm reader.
Lobster was the last thing
I was interested in eating if anything at all.
I suggested eating dinner with my mom since I needed to go home and
change anyway. Cassie decided she would
go home too.
“I’ll be back at nine to
get you so you better not be asleep.” She chuckled as she leaned over to give
me a hug.
“I won’t I promise.”
“Wear something sexy.” She wagged her brow.
“I will.” I sighed. I waved her off from the porch then went
inside to spend time with my mom.
It was eight thirty and I
was struggling with my outfit. After the
third outfit I decided on something simple but cute. I pulled on a pair of
jeans, can never go wrong with jeans. Slipped on my favourite black suede six
inch heels and my over the shoulder hot pink top. I brushed my hair again then straightened it
before adding a hint of light pink shimmer shadow and blackest black mascara.
Lastly a high sheer rose gloss to my full lips.
All in time for Cassie to arrive.
Cassie showed up in a jet
black jersey turtleneck dress with knee high boots. She looked as amazing as
ever.
“I didn’t realize you were
going to wear a dress. I feel so under dressed.” I said hugging my arms.
“Don’t be silly. I’m only
wearing this for Charlie, he loves my long legs.” She said with a giggle. I nodded following her out the door.
When we arrived outside the
Gravity club the line had already started and ended around the building. I huffed disappointed we would have to
wait. Cassie glanced at me as she got
out of the car.
“What’s wrong doll face?”
“I didn’t realize it would
be this busy already.”
“Oh honey we don’t wait in
line.” Her head flung back as she laughed.
Cassie held out her hand to take mine as she led me to the front
doors. The bouncer smiled at her and
unlatched the velvet rope. She gave him a big smile handed him some cash as she
slipped past him.
“You paid him to get
in?” I whispered leaning closer.
“No it was a tip, Charlie
owns this place.” She replied. “Come on
let’s see if he is here yet.” She pulled
me along behind her slithering our way through the crowd. We stopped at the bar along the way, where
she ordered us both a martini. She turned around to face the crowd her eye
scanning the faces. I accepted my drink
from the bartender with a smile. As I turned I spotted Mason on the other side
leaning forward on the wood bar, he looked up from his drink and glared at me.
I ignored his hateful stare and nodded before turning around.
“Your cousin is here.” I
sighed.
“Yeah he frequents this
place.”
“Does he have a
problem?” I asked.
“No.” She laughed then
waved at someone. I followed her stare and spotted a very handsome man with
dirty blonde hair and ice blue eyes.
“Hello gorgeous.” He said
walking over and hugging her.
“Babe, I want you to meet
my very best friend, Lauren.” Cassie
introduced. Charlie smiled and reached
around her to take my hand in his.
“Pleasure to meet you
Lauren. What a lovely name by the way.” He smiled. “I haven’t heard from you
all day, I wasn’t sure you would show up.” He leaned in and kissed her.
“Sorry I was out with
Lauren. We shopped for her masquerade gown today.” Her shoulders rose with
excitement.
“How very interesting.” He
gestured a gag, I laughed and she playfully punched him in the stomach. “I’m sure it was fun. Look I’m up in the
booth if you want to join me. I have some friends from out of town here tonight
that I’d like you to meet.” He wrapped his arm around her neck pulling her
away.
“Sure.” She reached out for me to follow but I shook
my head. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, maybe after a few more drink.
“You go, I’m going to have
another drink then see if I find anyone I know.” I said.
“George,” Charlie called
out to the bartender. “Drinks for her
are on me tonight.” He said pointing me out.
The bartender nodded then handed me a glowing pink bracelet.
“I won’t be long.” Cassie
mouthed as she walked away. I smiled and waved.
I sipped the martini and scanned the crowd for a familiar face. The one
that stood in front of me was not what I was expecting.
“Are you stalking me?” He
smirked and crossed his arms. I looked him up and down, noticing his expensive
black polo shirt with a tattoo like design on one side of his chest, dark denim
jeans and black boots.
“Are you drunk again?” I
retorted.
“Funny,” this time his lips
parted when he smiled and I noticed his perfect set of teeth to go with that
sexy smile. What was I thinking. I shook my head and looked away from him. He
pushed his way through the crowd to my left so he could lean against the bar
beside me.
“Are you here to pester me
or is this considered trespassing.” I
mocked. It was childish I know but he was a jerk and needed to be reminded of
his rude behaviour not that I thought he actually cared that he had hurt my
feelings that day. I turned to the bartender waiting to make eye contact then
ordered another martini.
“My own words being against
me, ouch. So tell me does that trick actually work for you?”
“I’m here to have a good
time Mason, please find someone else to bother.” With a roll of my eyes I
turned just as George my personal bartender for the night finished my martini
and placed it on the wooden bar. I
thanked him with a smile then walked away from Mason.
“I’m impressed.” He said
following me.
“With what my good memory
or that fact that I am still tolerating
you right now.” I turned to face him almost spilling my drink on my shirt. I
huffed and stared him down. His smile was starting to irritate me.
“Well it is definitely not
your good memory.” His lips screwed into a smile and his tilted his head
forward, he fingered a strand of hair by my cheek. My mouth parted but no words
would come out. I glanced over his
shoulder to find Cassie coming towards us.
I pushed past him to meet up with her. Maybe wandering around alone was
not a good idea after all. She led me up a set of stairs to a glass shaped
room. I turned and of course the one person I didn’t want to make eye contact
with I found, watching me.
“Was that Mason you were
talking too?” She asked grabbing a seat next to Charlie.
With a nod I replied,
“Yes.”
“Sorry I didn’t think he
would come up to you.” She winced.
“Hello again, Lauren.” Charlie
looked up at me with a big smile. I nodded and smiled back. I sat next to
Cassie who seemed to fit in anywhere.
Listening to them chat about their summer trips, places they have seen.
Places I would never see in my lifetime.
I scolded myself, no pity party tonight, with a deep inhale I let out a
long slow breath letting go of my thoughts. I looked down at the dance floor at
the moving bodies. Sitting here
listening to them talk was boring and reminding me of the pity party going on
in my head. In standing everyone halted their conversation.
“I think I want to dance.”
I said then gulped the rest of my drink.
“You sure?” Cassie stood
next to me.
“Oh yeah.” I tried to hide
my annoyance.
“I’ll be back in a bit.”
Cassie leaned down to kiss Charlie.
I danced my way down the
stairs, not caring if anyone was watching me.
Cassie grabbed my hand and let me lead her to the middle of the dance
floor. You were dancing unless you were
in the middle in a tangled mess of bodies around you. I let the music take over
my body, my eyes closed and I could feel Cassie next to me singing to the song.
Then a spin of slow songs took
over, giving me the cue that it was time to get a drink. George remembered me,
giving me a wink as he caught my eye. Moments later I had a drink. Cassie joined me ordering a few shots of
tequila, twice. One of my favourite
songs came on and I squealed grabbing her arm, dragging her back to the dance
floor. Girls were jumping and singing their arms waving in the air. The alcohol was beginning to numb me. Sweat
slowly dripped down my neck. Cassie waved at me to get my attention she
gestured needing water, I waved her off and continued dancing.
It wasn’t too long after
she was gone that I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my
waist. I didn’t care, he smelled good, a good sign he had taste so I let my
body go with the flow, stretched my arms behind me running my finger through
his short hair. My eyes were shut to keep from the room spinning, drinking was
not something I did often. When the song
ended, I slowly turned to face him balancing myself with his hand. The smile on
my face disappeared when I locked eyes with him. His sexy little smile was
starting to get on my nerves.
“Mason.” I gasped looking
away and folded my arms.
“Lauren is it?” He
smirked.
I shook my head.
“God why don’t you just go
away.” I slapped his hand away. “Are you wanting me to yell at you, is that
what you like?”
“Maybe.” He smirked.
“Ugh, stop smiling.” I
walked away.
“Why, don’t you like my
smile?” He grabbed my arm turning me around.
“That’s the problem, I like
it a lot.” I regretted it the moment it left my mouth. His top lipped twitched
as he started to smile again.
“There you are!” Cassie
walked in front of Mason.
“I think I need to go
home.” I said finishing another drink.
“Are you sure?” Cassie
pouted.
“Yes.” I glared past her and she turned to find
Mason.
“What’s your deal cuz?” She
asked placing her hands on her hips.
He smugly replied, “Nothing.”
But he wasn’t looking at her he was still watching me. Cassie eyed him a little longer then turned
to face me.
“Let me just tell
Charlie.” She touched my arm.
“I can take her home.”
Mason interrupted. Cassie craned her
neck to look at him.
“You’ve been drinking.” She said.
“I’m fine Cass, I’ll just
walk.” I replied.
“No you won’t. Not alone.”
“I’ll walk with her.” Mason
replied.
This time my eyes widened.
Why was he doing this?
“You sure?” Cassie turned
to face him again.
“Yeah, it will be a nice
walk.” He replied.
“I’m not that far from
here.” I said.
“I know.” He smiled.
“Now who’s stalking who.”
Again, not thinking before speaking.
Cassie tried to hide her laugh. Mason just smirked again not taking his
eyes off me. “Sorry my brain mouth thing
is on delay.” I twirled my finger in the air around my head.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Cassie said hugging me.
“Sure.”
The highlight of my night
was not walking home with Mason Foster, the spoiled rich kid that I did not
remember from childhood. The walk was
awkward and silent most of the way. I wasn’t even sure why he wanted to take me
home. “I’m good from here.” I stopped walking turning to face him stuffing my
hands in my back pockets.
“I’ll make sure you get to
your door.” He tucked his hands behind
his back swaying a little, side to side.
“Really, I’m fine.” I
laughed.
“I’m sure you are.” He
started walking again nudging me to follow.
“I don’t get you.” I replied.
“What do you mean?” He asked glancing my way.
“Well, when we first met in
the forest you were less than friendly and now you are—”
“Sexy?” He chuckled.
“I was going to say
charming but you’re still a pompous ass.” I said rolling my eyes.
“I’ve got to keep it
interesting.” He looked up at the starry night. “I’m sorry that I was such a
jerk the other day.”
I added, “And at breakfast
and at the bar tonight.”
“And at breakfast this
morning, and earlier tonight.” He stopped walking as did I. “I—I’m not normally
like that.”
“That, I find so hard to
believe.” I laughed. When I looked over at
the house next to where we were standing I realized it was my mother’s
house. My heart sunk a little,
disappointed that this was ending already.
“Thank you for walking me home.”
“My pleasure.” There was
that smile again. I felt the breath in my throat come to a complete halt. He
stood there his eyes locked on mine and for a split second I thought he was
going to kiss me. “I’ll watch you in.”
He turned slightly facing the driveway.
With a nod I walked past him.
“Night.” I looked back.
He smiled and nodded.
“Night.”
Once inside I locked the
door and peeked out the window to see if he had gone. He stood there a moment longer until I turned
off the patio light then he started to walk away. My heart was racing so fast I
hadn’t noticed until I was alone.
I hope you like what I have so far. Would love to hear some feedback on what I've shared.
Cheers
xoxox
Sabrina
Had a blast tonight with my entire family at Medieval Times in Toronto Ontario. If you have not been I suggest you make time. It is so much fun and any age and gender will love it. My first time there was years ago and we had the green knight as our knight. This time we had the red and yellow knight and I swear our sections was the loudest. Good thing since we won the event. I would definitely do Medieval times again and I suggest you do to. A great night out with some fantastic food.
